I'm waiting for you, my soul.
Consumed by longing,
I can only pray for one thing from —
Be near and love me.
And I will be yours forever,
So simple and good-natured,
With the meaning of which
Every day and every hour is filled,
Because only you are able
To give life to my heart,
Which has not been beating for a long time,
But only silent and fading.
Will I be able to forgive myself?
Will I be able to save my life?
How much pain, how many tears…
I haven't seen the light for so long
That I'm ready to fall into darkness.
But you managed to give me
Something that I have long lost —
My beautiful hope,
Which led to the birth
Of a love that I have never
Dreamed of before in the sweetest dreams.
And with it came fear,
The fear that everything that exists
Is just a beautiful, but a mirage.
Spring 2018
Your soul is a dense forest,
Beauties of which are innumerable.
Shrouded in thick fog
And watered by rains,
It is filled with warmth and cold,
Leading me to salvation,
And with that, to my downfall.
Your eyes, stupefying my mind,
Are able to give comfort.
And in the most difficult hour —
With your warm hands,
With your warm words,
Only you are able to support,
Only you are able to revive.
The colors fade without you,
In the distance I'm suffocating, dying —
I want to hug you so much
And never let go,
To surrender both soul and body.
After all, I can't give more
To someone who is capable of animating.
Spring 2018
Torn from within,
A storm is raging in me,
And the storm, without subsiding,
Does not let me forget
All the bitterness that I was
Once destined to experience.
Tears flow without getting tired…
And no one knows their reasons,
And no one can understand me,
Because for me one joy
Is my old girlfriend,
Whose name is pillow.
The reason for my tears is simple —
My dreams, my hopes
Played a cruel joke on me.
My world was destroyed a long time ago,
It was burned to the ground a long time ago,
And now it is trampled to the end.
One love burned out,
And the other blossomed,
But this did not make it easier for me,
But only made it more painful.
Happiness is shattered,
As, indeed, am I myself.
I do not feel warmth,
There is no trembling, desires,
But only a terrible cold
That kills me from the one
To whom I had the imprudence to bring
My heart out of my chest.
My ailment is not curable —
A destroying feeling
That has ruined me more than once,
To forget, which I wish,
And in my life never
To remember it again.
Spring 2018
You have become the mistress of my heart —
My savior, my destroyer.
Only in your hands is my freedom,
Only in your hands is my soul.
Now I am imprisoned in a cage,
And I could be in velvet fetters.
But, alas, you are not so merciful, lady,
And you have given me only iron fetters.
Dreams are dreams, and the reality is
That I am destined to be in this world
Only as your faithful sweet slave,
But not as your beloved soul.
Spring 2018
Forgive me, my love,
I have tried more than once to forget
Everything that was between us,
But I don't have the strength to do it.
With you, I have become not myself —
I have become softer and more vulnerable
The masks that I have worn for so
Long have all come off at once.
My pride is my mate,
It has become not a destiny with you,
Because only you alone have managed
To see the truth in me.
Forgive me for my selfishness,
For not being so patient.
But I am besotted with you,
Your beautiful soul.
Spring 2018
My love for you is strong,
But you couldn't accept it.
And dying again and again —
I pray, for once don't push me away.
I have told you more than once
That I am ready to ruin myself,
That I am ready to give everything
For one of your warm looks.
I remember your lips touching,
I remember your playful hands,
Alas, not wanting me.
